In The Mind Of A Childlike

Eversince I can remember, Kakak was like saying to me and persuade to choose other blog domain other than the one I used in Friendster’s. Initially, I was like sceptical and refused. But recently, seems like I can’t upload any photos anymore in the Friendster Blog. Therefore, I’ve decided to give this wordpress a SHOT! and thanks Kakak for like being SO-ENTHUSIASTIC by helping to transfer all those entries I wrote in Friendster’s. So, I guess today marks my day as the first WordPress blogger! You shud be proud that I CHOOSE you WordPress! ahhaha. Cheers =)

The new blog will commenced henceforth :  http://undomiel84.wordpress.com

Venue : The Bank

Number of People In Department : Me & Deputy CEO

Today, my day at the work is kinda sucky….Everything is a mess. It’s true. It’s cliche that there’s ups and downs in jobs. I’m not gonna lament here like a child (although I guess I’m doing it NOW! LOL). This is just to siphon out what I felt inside (like usual). From the quality of Credit Application Memorandum to the recent appraisal by Human Resources to the recent financing by this customer who badly need a Bank Guarantee-i (Performance) before 29th May to the incident of tripping senior’s cup of coffee….ARGH!

Of course, like usual I’m to lament to few people that I could think off ( i guess you know who you are). Kakak called me just now and was like interrogating, " Why are you sounding so sombre? U kena marah ke?" Hhuuh….yeah, my family understands me THAT well, huh? Hhuhu, that’s life of an adult =(  . I wonder how’s life of non-financial career? Well… it’s for me to find out I guess. Hurm, how I wish I was a student….I really badly need someone’s shoulder to cry on ; yeah, i know sounds corny after few days when I read this, but that’s what I feel now..=(

NOTIFICATION UPDATES :

For the past 2 weeks, I’ve been really in a klutzy + topsy turvy + hectic being. Workloads and a few misfortunes back-to-back make everything worsen. Kinda shitty if you think about it but of course a patient person would always be saying that it’s "God’s will." How I wish I could just take it very relax. Anyway, to cut everything short, I met an accident yesterday masa on the way selekoh keluar from Putrajaya. The weather was like crazy; sekejap hujan, sekejap panas…and LUCKILY masa jatuh motor tu, tempat tu tak hujan and the cars yang lalu lalang sempat berhenti. I dread of thinking what if the cars tak sempat stopped and just rammed me?! *sigh*

I was speeding quite fast although it was raining. With the humongous raincoat + my black "Authentic" coat around, I looked like Shallow Hal riding the bike and I was grumbling to myself (like usual) while riding it. Little I know that those "attire" would save my life inches from death. Masa nak sampai selekoh tu, I thought I terbawa laju and spontaneously, tried to memperlahankan the bike. My instinct triggered the wrong body part. I used the brake depan (hand) instand of the hind brake. This resulted to tayar depan mencengkam dan berhenti tapi tayar belakang still rolling. Lo! Motor tu pun lost balance and that time I knew that I was gonna fall all over the road. LUCKILY though, the thick raincoat prevented any serious injuries. I just dapat few bruises lebam jer la. I was shaken and startled for seconds. Passers-by were like typical-Malaysians; bertanya2x tapi x berhenti ERGH!). Nasib baik ada this one good samaritan chinese guy helped me to angkat the bike.

Hari ni nak baiki motor yang dah senget sebelah tu tapi sampai rumah, kunci plak tak bawak. So, I’m locked outside and I have to wait for my sis and bro to balik. I dont think it’s worthy to bayar taxi RM30 to Putrajaya amik kunci. Tadi kerja ofis plak topsy turvy. I have to make few amendments on the credit paper yg akhirnya di-sign oleh DCEO (ergh!after kena bamboo last Friday!!). Above all, quite emotionally challenging week for me.

"All You’ve Got To Do Is Dream..And We’ll Be There!"

Jukebox Mood : "Dreamgirls Opening Song Act" by The Dreams

Bila saya merasa teruja akan sesuatu, memang saya suka berkongsi dengan orang sekeliling. Kali ini saya ingin berkongsi mengenai sebuah filem yang saya rasa sangat menarik (but some people might find it quite draggy) yang telah saya tonton tapi hanya sekarang baru berkesempatan menulis mengenainya. Entri kali ini ditulis dalam bahasa Melayu/Malaysia untuk memungkinkan semua pembaca dapat berkongsi perasaan saya ini kerana tulisan bahasa Inggeris mungkin sukar untuk diterima segelintir individu.

Filem "Dreamgirls" merupakan adaptasi dari teater Broadway yang telah dipentaskan sejak lebih tahun 1981. Pementasan yang mendapat sambutan tersebut merupakan batu loncatan kepada artis seperti Jennifer Holiday yg menjadi sgt terkenal dengan lagu berhantu dari teater tersebut iaitu " And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going" kerana memerlukan vokal yang tinggi dan corak oktaf melismatik yg bertenaga. Secara ringkasnya, naskah "Dreamgirls" telah diinspirasikan daripada kehidupan sebenar kumpulan The Supremes; yang merupakan kumpulan yg dianggotai oleh Diana Ross.

Sipnosisinya, "Dreamgirls" memaparkan kisah suka duka 3 orang gadis kulit hitam yang merangkak mengukir nama dalam bidang muzik;  Effie White (Jennifer Hudson), Lorell (Annika Rose) dan Deena Jones (Beyonce). Kumpulan ini diasaskan oleh Effie yang menjadi vokal utama kerana suaranya yang kuat dan bertenaga. Pertemuan dengan Curtis Taylor Jr. yang kemudiannya menjadi pengurus kumpulan ini telah memajukan kedudukan mereka dalam bidang muzik namun persahabatan juga diuji apabila Curtis yang pada mulanya berpacaran dengan Effie White, telah mula beralih cinta kepada Deena. Posisi penyanyi utama juga bertukar tangan kepada Deena dengan alasan suara Deena yg halus dapat memikat carta muzik masyarakat kulit putih.

Situasi ini adalah sama dengan apa yg berlaku dengan kumpulan The Supremes (rujuk  Wikipedia). The Supremes yang telah diasaskan oleh Florence Ballard ini, juga dianggotai oleh Mary Wilson dan Diana Ross. Setelah berjaya memecah monopoli muzik yg dikuasai kumpulan lelaki, The Supremes menjadi kumpulan di bawah label Motown yg paling menguntungkan (Zaman Motown ialah era kegemilangan muzik kulit hitam : The Jackson 5, The Temptation). Namun demi nilai komersil, posisi penyanyi utama yg dipegang Florence Ballard bertukar ganti ke tangan Diana Ross. Pada masa yg sama, Diana Ross berpacaran dengan pengurus The Supremes iaitu Berry Gordy. Perselisihan mula berlaku; Ballard disingkirkan daripada The Supremes dan nama kumpulan ditukarkan kepada "Diana Ross & The Supremes". Seperti yang kita tahu, akhirnya Diana Ross meninggalkan kumpulan tersebut untuk membina karier sbg penyanyi solo yang tersohor.

Naskhah kehidupan kumpulan The Supremes sememangnya dramatik dgn pasang surutnya. Saya yakin bahawa tarikan inilah yang memberi inspirasi kepada penerbit "Dreamgirls" untuk menggarapkan dalam bentuk cereka. Watak-watak yang dipersembahkan adalah cermin kepada individu sebenar :

1. Deena Jones (Beyonce) = Diana Ross
2. Effie White (Jennifer Hudson) = Florence Ballard
3. Lorell (Annika Rose) = Mary Wilson
4. Curtis Taylor Jr. (Jamie Foxx) = Berry Gordy

Jennifer Hudson sendiri mengucapkan penghargaan beliau kepada mendiang Florence Ballard semasa memenangi Academy Award untuk watak yg dilakonkannya ini. Secara keseluruhannya, lagu-lagu yang dipaparkan sangat menarik (bagi mereka yg meminati R&B atau Gospel-like) dan kesemua pelakon berjaya menunjukkan bakat terutamanya Jennifer Hudson! Beyonce berjaya memperlihatkan bakatnya walaupun tidak sehebat Hudson, beliau berjaya memperlihatkan ilusi aura Diana Ross.

I’m am always like one of Angie’s tattoo : "Wild Heart Kept In Cage". From the outside I look soft and innocent. The inside is sickeningly with desires only the boldest could tame. Erm…Gemini, are we not? *This tatts is taken from Angie’s latest flick "Wanted".

Aku MenungguMu. Aku Takkan Jemu. Kerna Cinta Itu Termanis BagiKu.

Jukebox Mood : "Destinasi Cinta" by Siti Nurhaliza

The time has come to just let things go. It’s time to let serendipity takes control. The rest, all you can do is to enjoy life. Joie de Vivre! It’s true that sometime I take things too seriously. It’s hard to shake that kinda principle when all of my life I’ve been nurturing myself with that kinda attitude. But I’m learning not to confine myself in that sickening emotion. Not very healthy though *sigh*. As you can see, I’ve already change the mood of my friendster’s page : it always reflects my inner notion. I like to share the lyric from Madonna’s "Power of Goodbye". I think she’s an amazing lyricist (she writes that? I dunno actually). The lyrics are demographically satisfying..

"The Power of Goodbye"  by Madonna

Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no

Learn to say good-bye
I yearn to say good-bye

Could You Cry A Little. Lie Just A Little. Pretend That You ‘re Feeling A Little More Pain. I Gave Now I’m Wanting Something In Return. So Cry Just A Little For Me.

Jukebox Mood : "Cry" by Faith Hill

I’m not sure whether it has something to do with the internal thingies…or maybe because of what I’m facing now. It’s subconciously getting to me *sigh*. Last weekend, went back to Kedah for something and my dear nephew got sick! Mak told me that he was admitted to hospital due to some lung infection; I’m kinda  worried for him though. Apart from that, beginning this week (today, Monday 7th April 2008), it looks like more workloads are begin to pour in… it gets to my nerves once in a while; and also last 2 nights I had this mind-disturbing dream…. How I wish I could just shun IT !!! A vision I’ve been so hard not to think just keep poppin in my mind..GOD! The same vision that make me cry in the dream itself (confuse, huh?) last week! Suddenly I feel sad and missing that lil’ feeling of companionship or relying onto something when things go wrong….*sigh* =(

I’m finger-crossing for any opportunities that may come. But, Alhamdulillah, so far everything can still be considered as manageable although I just think I’d go berserk if keep thinking about this…. WORK WORK WORK =(

NOTIFICATION UPDATES (I):

Yesterday I was feeling really miserable =(. Nothing on emotional upheavel. (Well, in a way). It’s the working loads and my career path that make me unhappy. I love the people in my working environment. They have been so far very nice towards me and the atmosphere is really a condusive place for an ideal career-building (i’m talking about my department; not the institution as wholly). It’s just that the working scope is something that get to my nerves yesterday. I aint gonna elaborate that except a hint : My KPI is to get at least an origination financing (credit papers sent to Risk Management) worths RM70 Million !!!!! And for God sake, I’m in charge of SME (Small Medium Enterprise); and that’s TOUGH=(. Hope of digging a goldmine can only be crystalized (erk??) through Contract Financing deals! waaargh! I’ve to really work my ass off in comparison to my other fellow peers =(

NOTIFICATION UPDATES (II):

I was angry. I was sad. And I’m still is. I guess people are right that I’m extra sensitive and I’m difficult. Perhaps I am indeed stubborn as a stone. Maybe I am Dominique Francon of "The Fountainhead"….maybe. And that is sad because in the end, we are just drifted apart. No, I’m not gonna spell it out for you. It’s not gonna be that simple. =(

NOTIFICATION UPDATES (III):

For the past 5 days, I’ve been having relentless time.. I thought dah kena infect dengan demam denggi sekali lagi (and I’m just so scare!); demam panas andd kepala rasa berat sangat! I was really scare yang infection kali ni jangkitan denggi ‘coz the pre-cursor symptoms mcm demam2x panas dan sakit kepala ni are quite similar with the symptoms I had the last time I was infected with dengue. Tambahan pula, my gum (gusi) berdarah sedikit and sedikit bengkak.. On whole, I couldn’t enjoy my anticipated weekend and unfortunately pula, Abg Sri (my cousin) and his family were makin’ plan with ours on the particular weekend!!!

On Saturday, they (including Kakak & Abg Sri) had a get-togezzer at Taman Warisan Putrajaya. On Sunday, they had lunch at our house and sempatlah menjenguk me yang masa tuh memang dah tak larat dah..But of course, keceriaan Kak Maya (Abg Sri’s wife) cheers everything’s up! Only on Sunday itself, baru I told Mak about the fever; and of course, Mak being a mother was going berserk. As a nurse, she knows that a second dengue infection is very dangerous and is fatal. So she asked me to do blood test..

The first blood test ( I have to admit that I was kinda savoring when the needles were poked into my arm. Not satisfaction..more like an anxious relief..) revealed that my platelet number was at 150 (which happen to at the brink of ’safe zone’. If it were to be below 150 counts, a close monitor must be undertaken. The second day with the blood test, my platelets reduced to 125! I was really anxious, Ya Allah! That night, I bought dozens of 100 Plus (isotonic drinks; thanks to Muzem for reminding me that) and mineral water!

On the third day for blood test, my platelets increased to 130++; my fever pun dah mula kebah, Alhamdulillah; and the doctor said that I dont have to come for another blood test. So, on and all, I’m happy that it was not the dreaded dengue. The doctor said that it was viral infection. Hurm…so today I’m back at the office (as I’m typing these very sentences); resuming my soporific days as a banker….still tired though.

Last night, I’ve been listening to my Faith Hill’s "Cry" CD and I came across one of the track, "This Is Me". I had an inkling that this song is tailor-made for me (erk?)…Imagine that every sentences speak my mind. Whew, music and song is such magical thing! I’d like to share the lyrics(and I’ve put the song as my Friendster’s song now; you can go to my page to hear).

Of course as a Moslem, I’d just waive the lyrics about Jesus (in case if there are some people who wanna stir controversy out of that); you can simply change the lyric to "God"; the essence is the relationship with The Creator.

It’s like Faith Hill is singing about me….I fell in love with this song. *sigh*

"THIS IS ME"  By Faith Hill

Yeah I have my addictions
and keep my share of secrets
and things you’ll never see
I get selfish and defensive
And pay too much attention
to my insecurities
Oh I’m just like everybody else
I try to love Jesus and myself

*Chorus*                                             
I don’t know what you believe
or what you think of what you see
but this is a part of me
what i do and who i am
all my impurities
Are right here on my sleeve
This is me
This is me

My heart break for the homeless
I worry about my parents
and all my bills are late
I’m dealing with the changes
This complicated Strangeness
Of seeing life this way
I’m just like everybody else
I try to love Jesus and myself
*Chorus*

I laugh at silly movies
Tear up when i see babies
And I’m stubborn as a stone
I criticize my body
I wonder if I’m ready
To ever be alone
Oh I’m just like everybody else
I cry like everybody else

Assalamualaikum,

Kebelakangan ni banyak perkara berlaku dalam kehidupan saya; sulit untuk menukilkan kesemua dalam satu cebisan. Mungkin kerana ianya dekat dengan hati, lewat ini saya selesa menulis dalam bahasa Melayu? Apapun yang dah berlaku, saya rasa syukur dengan yang terjadi; menjadi pengajaran dan ikhtibar untuk masa mendatang, Insya Allah.

Blog ini menjadi medan saya luahkan segala yang terbuku dalam hati. Segala rasa suka atau duka, teruja mahupun kecewa; saya luahkan dalam ruangan ini. Kadangkala, respons daripada rakan-rakan yang jauh di mata tapi dekat di hati membuatkan rasa terubat. Saya akui  bukan semua perkara diceritakan; kadangkala ada yang berbaur tersirat untuk akal yang bijak menafsir dan mengerti. Yang pasti, walau di mana saya berada, saya masih yang dahulu. Saya takkan berkompromi dengan apa-apa yang mencemar maruah atau harga diri. Semoga akan sampai masanya. Saya berdoa. Semua ini menjadi pelajaran yang bererti.

Salam menghargai,

ShahRiLL RamLi.

NOTIFICATION UPDATES :

This week proves to be a quite challenging for me; both in workwise and emotionally. There was a peak where I was thinking of just simply quitting; I even had this weird-crazy-and-sad dream (I WILL NOT elaborate on this though!) last week which in the dream make me SAD and I cried to a friend; and so happen that the tomorrow day, this friend was like messaging me asking me to deliberate seeking for another Job. Wow, talk about a dejaVu!

Anyway, emotionally I’m just begin to develop this stagnant-monotonous air that I now refuse to let this silly whaeverchamaccallit get into me. Now, I just wanna channel the energy into something else : my career and of course the family (my nephew in particular!; in the end it’s always my family who love me more than anyone in this world (and I’m really2x touched by that although sometimes I can really be a PAIN-IN-The-ASS). If anyone notice, my mood is always reflected on my friendster page’s background; and so the background song. Since now I’m in the path of recovering my track back a.k.a. finding the light of hope, I’ve put a nice background to reflect that.

Oh yeah, Everytime I hear this one track number by Siti Nurhaliza entitled "Seindah Biasa", it always give me the strength to memujuk myself and to fight the odds that life sometimes put me through. The lyrics is so honest that it fuels me. Everytime I feel forlorn, this is the song I listen. There’s one particular stanza that which i held close to my heart :-

Pernah Kita Jatuh Mencuba Berdiri Menahan Sakit Dan Menangis. Tapi Erti Hidup Lebih Dari Itu Dan Kita Mencuba Melawan.

Entri kali ini saya tulis dalam bahasa Melayu untuk sama-sama berkongsi dengan rakan-rakan yang mungkin jarang membaca novel bahasa Inggeris (yang mungkin agak susah untuk difahami); mungkin ini dapat menarik minat mereka untuk memperkaya bahasa Inggeris masing-masing melalui bacaan prosa seperti ini.

Novel yang ingin saya ulas kali ini adalah garapan Ayn Rand iaitu "The Fountainhead". Pada mulanya, saya sendiri tidak yakin dengan karya yang sudah berusia 70 tahun ini (ditulis pada tahun 1930-an); namun jangkaan meleset setelah membaca; gaya tulisan Ayn Rand mempunyai aliran modenisme yang sangat kental walaupun ia ditulis pada tahun 1930-an. Pembaca tidak akan dapat menyangka bahawa ia adalah karya seorang wanita pada zaman itu kerana setiap karakter yang digarapkan adalah sangat modernis dan mempunyai objektiviti yang nyata. Saya sangat kagum dengan idealisme cetusan Ayn Rand ini; sangat projektif melangkaui realiti zaman itu. Pelbagai konsep arkitektual disentuh : Konsep Rennaisance, Church Gothic, Modernisme,etc. Tulisan beliau sangat bijak dan telus.

Novel ini pada amnya mengisahkan kekentalan prinsip arkitek muda, Howard Roark yang mempunyai pendirian yang sangat tegar; tidak berkompromi dengan persepsi diperbodohkan oleh musuh dalam selimut. Saya membayangkan watak Howard Roark ini seperti personaliti Johny Depp; tegar dan aloof. Beliau enggan akur dengan stigma masyarakat dalam seni membina bangunan. Beliau mempunyai perwatakan yang penyendiri dan menghargai pendirian sendiri melebihi pendapat atau ketentuan kolektif masyarakat. Tidak kisah mengambil risiko mempertahankan prinsip, tidak kisah ditindas oportunis, dan tidak kisah kehilangan kekasih; pantang menyerah.

Watak oportunis dalam novel ini hadir dalam karakter Ellsworth Toohey, seorang cendekiawan masyarakat ynag juga pengkritik senibina arkitek di dalam surat khabar "The Banner" (Entah kenapa saya terus membayangkan karakter ini dalam bentuk Uncle Bilbo Baggins Lord of The Ring!). Seorang yang pandai berkata-kata dan bijak memanipulasikan individu untuk mencapai matlamat. Untuk melunturkan semangat Roark, Toohey telah mencuba pelbagai muslihat kotor mencemarkan dan memperalatkan rakan Roark yang dalam diam membenci Roark iaitu Peter Keating demi menjatuhkan Roark!

Peter Keating digambarkan sebagai seorang arkitek tampan yang memendam perasaan benci kepada Roark. Mereka merupakan rakan satu kolej dalam subjek architecture. Keating merupakan contoh individu yang bertentangan dengan falsafah hidup Roark. Keating merupakan seorang yang takut melawan norma masyarakat, hanya mengharapkan pujian masyarakat bagi kesemua hasil lakaran pelan bangunan. Bersengkokol dengan Toohey untuk menjatuhkan Roark. Karakter angkuh Keating ini membuatkan saya membayangkan karakter Tom Marvolo Riddle a.k.a. Lord Voldermort (semasa remaja). Tampan tetapi punya hati yang keji.

Gail Wynand; pemilik surat khabar "The Banner" merupakan seorang individu yang sukar didekati. Tetapi, akhirnya beliau menjadi rakan karib Roark. Saya menggambarkan Alec Baldwin sebagai Gail Wynand kerana Ayn Rand menggarap personaliti Wynand sebagai tampan dan berkarisma; Baldwin dalam komedi Third Rock sangat sesuai.

Dan tentunya akhir sekali mengenai watak yang paling kompleks dan sulit untuk difahami; Dominique Francon. Beliau merupakan socialite yang menjadi pengkritik seni bina arkitektual dalam "The Banner"; sukar meluahkan rasa cinta kepada Roark (walaupun masing-masing memahami); lebih sanggup memusnahkan karier Roark dengan tulisan sadisnya daripada membiarkan Roark dikhianati masayarakat; sanggup berkahwin dengan musuh Roark, Peter Keating & Gail Wynand (untuk membantu karier Keating) demi untuk melihat Roark menjadi submissive (menyerah) kepadanya. Saya tak tahu mengapa saya merasakan ada hubungan rapat dengan karakter ini. Membaca cara Ayn Rand membentuk alunan karakter Dominique Francon ialah seperti membaca sisi karakter saya yang jarang diketahui orang; hanya diri saya sahaja. Elemen ego sangat kental…. Saya hanya membayangkan Angelina Jolie sebagai ilustrasi Dominique Francon kerana personaliti yang ditunjukkan adalah sangat bertepatan. Kompleks, sukar difahami, hati ego yang tinggi. Tidak hairanlah jika rupa-rupanya Angie juga meminati novel Ayn Rand (dan bakal membintangi sebuah filem based on Ayn Rand’s novel "Atlas Shrugged").

Above all (sorry, I cannot resist writing in english), this novel is an excellent masterpiece by the world reknowned Ayn Rand. (And what a coincedent that my hero, Angie also likes her!). Ayn Rand definitely knows how to illustrate the intuition of complex heart and mind and I’ve already enlist her as one of my favorite writer… Ayn Rand! (along Stephen King of course).

But I Can’t Spell It Out For You. No It’s Not Gonna Be That Simple. No I Can’t Spell It Out For You.

Jukebox Mood: "Realize" by Colbie Caillat

I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m torn between my pride and my little voice inside. It’s trivial…. but why am I so cooped up in that tiny little dejected feeling? ergh! Whatever la. Pegi mampos la. It ain’t worth my brain cells to divulge into this micro-tiny tantrums. But yeah..whatever I may jot down here I still makin’ me sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. And….Sad. I won’t be saying it out loud to anyone or will I cry outside anymore; this writing up just to siphon out, to alleviate, to memujuk myself. There’s so much more of those who are keep coming to me and yet I’m savoring something that merely sillhouttes. It’s alright to feel that Childlike. It’s just another phase of growing up before you find the Charm.It’s Ok, to be sad. It’s Ok to cry inside…..it’s all alright.

NOTIFICATION UPDATES (I) :

It’s complex. People says I’m difficult. I’m mysterious. I’m defensive... *sigh*. I have no answer for that nor will I comment anything on it. Pretty much so far, I think I’m merely simple person to be understood. But, it’s alright. People don’t have to understand me; if they don’t, it means they don’t complement me and it will remains that, I’m afraid =( . Listening to Colbie Caillat’s "Realize" is quite a therapeutic remedy. It’s OK…I would just have to occupy myself with other ’stuff’.

NOTIFICATION UPDATES (II) :

I’ve been occupying myself with the office workloads yang I bawa balik. It’s a good diversion. With the rendition of Colbie Caillat’s "Realize" being played for like trillionth times, it’s just getting sombre-ly therapeutic. I’m also in a process of finishing the book "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand which is very interesting. I have to say that i have deep connection with the character Dominique Francon (I would explain on the book thoroughly when I finish reading it). I found similarities between us; and it scares me..

NOTIFICATION UPDATES (III) :

Burying oneself in the enormous workloads sometimes bring a greater good; a great diversion, and yeah, u tend to finish up most task being assigned to you. It’s a remedial for me, a solace I’m counting on for now. Hurm..now that i’ve cooled down a lil bit (but still feel sore over it), everything seemed micro-trivial (and yeah, I have to say that there was indeed some gestures made to make-up for that whatever-that-make-me-sad-that-day)… But the dejected emotion is still there (yeah, i guess I don’t forgive easily); for now, i’m not savouring anything from no one. Life has a lot of things to offer and I a’int gonna pass all that (or mourn) over something elusive as this !In the end, it’s always my family who love me most dearly and I treasure them always.. Now that i’ve already have a nephew, Mohd Rifqi who I love to death, I’m beginning to learn to get rid of my "uncouth" alter ego (a different hidden side of me that hardly anyone notice it).. the Dominique Francon alter ego.

It’s Not all The Same, It’s Never The Same, If You Don’t Feel It Too.